Forever Yours
by RikkiChadwick2011
Summary: Sequel to Fighting Yesterday Don't have to read Fighting Yesterday Eliza plans to move on after Tommy's death and do the things she and Tommy were going to... But will someone who has their eye on her get in the way? Rated T! DISCONTINUED ACCOUNT
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay! Here's the sequel to Fighting Yesterday… Did you notice that this story "Forever Yours" and "Fighting Yesterday" have the initials "FY"? I Just noticed that! Anyway, I'm sorry again for posting the Fighting Yesterday chapters late… Hurricane Irene's fault not mine! Anyway**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Titanic**

The cold wind bit at me, and my tears had iced to my face. Tommy was gone, and I just had to accept that, but it wasn't easy. The lifeboat was basically just drifting as we waited for the Carpathia to come into sight. It had been hours. Carpathia _still _had not come… I heard the sobs of the other woman. It was obvious their husbands hadn't survived. Maybe some had… A lot hadn't.

The Crewman, aboard the lifeboats, were flailing lights so that the Carpathia could see us. It wasn't until the crack of dawn that we had been pulled aboard the Carpathia, freezing and scared. We had forgotten what "warm" had felt like, or even what it was. Our bodies were numb with cold. Woman refused to speak… They only cried. The only words that escaped their mouths were their husbands' names. My lifeboat had been the last one, and the others were still letting people off. The Carpathia was a welcoming sight though. It didn't exactly make me happy—I don't think anything would make me happy anymore—but it was promising. I could hear the yelling of the crewman calling out for more blankets and coffee. I could see some men lifting beds in to the cabins, obviously ready to await anyone who needed the help.

Once aboard, I heard a voice, unfamiliar to me, yell, "Food! Bring me food! I don't care what it is just bring it to me!" It was Mr. Ismay. Bastard some called him for only caring about himself after the lives he had destroyed. A coward for not going down with the ship in guilt others said. From all around he received cold stares of hate from the woman and children and the very few men who survived. If I were him, I'd've jumped overboard.

I could only think of Tommy though. I wasn't angry at God, or the Titanic, or the Berg, or anyone. Except myself. Could I have prevented it? What if Jack never told us to go search the other side of the ship?

I wasn't mad at Murdoch, or Lightoller—whoever shot him—or the Captain or anyone who wasn't me. Only I could be me, therefore I was only angry at myself, and forever I would be. I didn't talk, unless directly asked, but it was usually a yes or no question, therefore I only nodded or shook my head.

I was wrapped in two thick blankets by Mr. Lightoller. I was also handed a cup of hot coffee by one of the men who worked aboard the Carpathia. Mr. Lightoller held it for me, however, because I did not grasp the cup. My hands were too numb.

My heart still felt heavy and torn. Of course my needs were lesser than that of a passenger who was rescued from the icy water.

Mr. Lightoller helped me walk for if it weren't for him, I would be lying face-down on the deck right now. Once I was inside one of the cabins, I was quickly whisked onto a bed that the Carpathia's crewman had set up. It almost looked like a hospital. People were being attended to all over. Children first, woman second, and men third.

My body was still numb, even in the thick sheets. I knew I was experiencing the painfully numb beginning of hypothermia, and I could only pray that I would get better.

I was kept awake until my body temperature began dropping back to a safe meter. My body had once again gained all feeling, but it wasn't for a long time. If I had fallen asleep, the nurse who attended to me said there was a pretty good chance my body would've shut down entirely. Once I was finally able to sleep, I had awoke feeling better than I ever had in a while. But inside, I was still yelling.

We docked in New York a while later. The air was warm, thankfully. I sat on the deck, still wrapped in the thick blankets. I was still too cold to dispose of them yet.

Around me, women and children begged the crewman for their fathers and husbands and men begged for their wives, chanting their names over and over again. It was heart-breaking, but my heart couldn't shatter any more than it already had. I tried to drown out the pain that was etched into my heart, but there would forever be a scar. I knew very well I would never be asking the crewman for the name, "Tommy Ryan."

It tore me to pieces, but he'd want me to be strong. I made a promise to myself and Tommy I would let go, but I would still hold on. I didn't have to promise to not love him.

_I never said I had to stop loving you. Did I? _I thought.

I walked around, observing the people who were just like me. Alone, scared, hurt. I closed my eyes, and I could still hear his laugh. I could see the way his eyes lit up everytime I was around. I could still feel his lips on mine.

I willed myself not to cry. I had to pull through. Reporters were everywhere, asking questions that never got answered. No one could speak! They were too shocked. The reporters pushed though, because they didn't understand the shock or the pain. The crewman told them to get lost after they realized reporters were swarming like bees.

By the time night had fallen, I stood by the Statue of Liberty. Just staring. Freedom. That's what I thought as I stood by it. Could it be that Tommy was free? Open to God's welcoming arms. Was I open to the matter? I closed my eyes and forced back the tears. It was too much, though and the tears cascaded down my face. Tears mixed with the rain that poured down. It had been pouring for a while now.

"Can I take your name, please, Miss?" asked a man I knew to be Mr. Wilde. I was about to say "Eliza Hancock," but thought better of it, for I could still get into trouble. Instead I though quickly, searching the crewman's face, hoping he wouldn't notice my uncomfortable thought. Then realization had hit me. "Elizabeth Ryan."

He wrote it down quickly, nodded, then left to ask the names of other survivors. I continued to gaze at the Statue. It was marvelous, and I couldn't help but stare at it, thinking about my life after this. How life would be after this. I had to move on. Question was… Did I _want _to move on?

No. But it was for the best. I would travel to Santa Monica alone. That was the original plan. Bu then I met Tommy and it all changed.

I just had to go with it. That's what the pair of us would've done. We'd have gone with the wind and done what we wanted. No one was holding us back. A world of possibilities and it was all for us. Well, for me now.

I heard something that caught my attention. It was distant, but all too familiar. "Dawson… Rose Dawson."

I knew a Rose! And a Dawson! Chippewa Falls Dawson. I turned around. There Rose stood. She looked better than when she was hauled aboard the Carpathia. "Thank you," the crewman, unknown to me, said.

I walked over to Rose. She searched the sky and I knew she was just looking for that shooting star. Like Jack's father, my father had told me about shooting stars. A soul going to heaven.

I had already see one earlier in the night. And when I did, I closed my eyes and saw him. The man who stole my heart, gave me the happiness and hope I needed. He was also the man who left me so suddenly and unexpectedly. Tommy Ryan was the man I would never forget.

"Rose?" I said. My voice was hoarse and still recovering from the cold. She turned to look at me and I thought she was going to break down and loose it all. "Eliza?' she whispered. Her voice had recovered a bit more than mine had. I nodded, and she threw her arms around me, sobbing into my shoulder.

I tried to keep calm, but it faltered. My shattered heart, much like Rose's, needed the relief and the only way to get it was to cry. To mourn.

I never even got the chance to tell him something though. To tell him the words that meant more then air, or money I didn't have, or life itself.

I never got to tell him I loved him.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Okay, so at Loves2Write34 even though we both had the same plot to this chapter, I'm going to dedicate half of the credit for this chapter to you, Lauren! Now:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Titanic… I only own Eliza Hancock, main character, which you already now!**

Rose and I had walked the short cuts away from the pier, in the hopes that Cal and Ruth wouldn't find us. We made it away thankfully. "Rose, I have to ask; You and Jack were going to Santa Monica, right?" I asked. I saw her flinch as I brought up Jack. "Yes, but now I don't know what to do," she said sadly. "Tommy was going to take me… Did you want to come with me? Just the two of us working our way there?" I asked. She smiled and nodded.

We didn't have anything to take with us except the damp clothes that clung to our bodies. "So, what's it like going from, you know, first class to third?" I asked. Of course Rose would never be First Class again, and of course I would never get there. "It's definitely different… But I can live without caviar and cotillions," she joked half-heartedly. I laughed, but it wasn't enthusiastic.

How could there be any enthusiasm when we had just barely survived the worst event to ever take place in our lives? We walked around New York for a while… We just talked really. It wasn't like one of those "Go out and look around" meets. This was our beginning… Our new beginning. We talked about everything but Tommy or Jack. It was still too soon. The wounds were still fresh. We talked about the necklace Rose had found in her coat pocket. "Cal gave it to me the first night on board," she said. She kept it in her pocket. A lot of people wanted to get their hands on this treasure, but we weren't going to let that happen.

"Are you afraid, Rose, that we might not make it to Santa Monica? I mean, we both had hypothermia. He haven't actually entirely recovered…" I said, staring at my feet. "No. I told Jack I would take the risk. I promised… I plan to get to Santa Monica one way or another," she said. I could hear the hint of hesitation in her voice, but it was replaced with determination.

I nodded.

The days passed rather quickly. We were already out of New York. We slept wherever we could. We lived the way Jack had (so Rose had said) and it was actually fun, despite the lack of food. We kept ourselves busy walking around and exploring the cities we passed through. We had made it to Ohio the next day. There wasn't a lot to see, but it was very pretty—different from what we had been seeing lately. I started feeling queasy lately. It was only because I hadn't eaten anytime soon. I put the idea of food aside. Of course it wasn't healthy, but we'd come this far. I never said this life would be easy. Rose took it better than I did and she never lived this way before. It was a drastic change for her.

We moved out of Ohio quickly the day after. We didn't sleep often because there weren't any places we could just stop at. Many fields had ticks at this time of year too. We only had each other to talk to, but we hadn't gone insane at the loss of human communication. We talked about just everything really, but we always found something to start a conversation with.

That day I did get sick. It passed eventually, but I didn't like it. I wanted to eat badly just to get rid of this stupid feeling in my stomach. It didn't hurt, it just didn't feel okay. I felt uneasy. _We_ needed—no wanted—food. We struck "gold." We had found food that day. Well, we came across money to buy food, but not much. It was enough to slightly satisfy us. But we both wanted more.

We didn't have money though after that, so we kept walking. Rose loved to pretend she was an actress in a movie. She would feign tears or sleep or anger as practice. It was quite convincing. That was her distraction throughout the day and she didn't care about the looks she received. I watched her, amused. "You should be an actress, Rose! You're amazing!" I said.

Night had fallen rather quickly so it seemed. We found an abandoned home in the middle of nowhere. We stayed there all night. I watched, by candlelight, as Rose ran around the room, reciting lines she knew, acting out the body language, accents, and emotions. She was amazing. I couldn't understand how people didn't recognize her potential when she ran down the street yelling lines and singing at the top of her lungs as we traveled.

The next morning, I awoke next to a burned out candle. The smell of wax filled my nose, and it smelled not exactly sweet, but not disgusting. I suddenly got that nauseous feeling. Quickly clasping my hand over my mouth, I ran outside. I was terribly ill. That's what I got for not eating, but If I wanted to make it to Santa Monica for Tommy, I wouldn't let some illness stop me.

The neck day though, I missed my period. Now I was freaking out. It wasn't just some illness! Maybe I was just stressed. That was it. No, I couldn't deny the truth… This happened every day for the past month! It was official… I was pregnant. I was going to have Tommy's baby… Tommy and I were going to have a baby. I didn't have anything to support me though! Rose sure as hell didn't either.

I was Pregnant.

Of course I was scared, but I couldn't help but smile. How would I tell Rose? _Would _I tell Rose? I had a while to make a decision.

**A/N: Okay, Loves2Write34… I promised you a surprise, but I'm sure we ALL saw this coming sometime! :D anyway, review as you please! I refuse to force you to! Plus I can see how many people read this story (a lot by the way) so I can tell not everyone reviews :D lol**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: As I write this, it's because of all my reviewers and readers! I'm honestly still crying over CamJC's review! It made me the happiest person on the planet tonight! I'm so glad you all like my story! Now, before I write a ten page essay on why I love you reviewers…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Titanic…**

I didn't want to tell Rose… But I had to. I couldn't run away from everything. I also couldn't leave her out here with no direction as of where to go. But I couldn't stay with her. I didn't want to burden her with it. I made up my mind. I hated to do it, but I was going to write her a letter, then leave tomorrow morning. I would go to Santa Monica on my own. I hated to do it, after I had asked her to join me, but I didn't see how easy it would be once the baby was born and we were living under bridges.

Maybe someone would take me in… But, that would be horrible of me to leave Rose out here to fend for herself while I look for someone who will bring me in. I decided I would write the note, but I would take her out of these woods to the city. Honestly cities weren't much safer, but at least she could be around people. That's what I would do. I don't think I could face her though, so I decided it would be best to leave her a note… As disappointing as it was.

The next morning, after throwing up for the day, I told Rose we were going out into town. I had written the note the night before after Rose had worn herself out. I was glad she could sleep without crying and that she could happily wear herself out in the mornings and evenings. I couldn't though, and I couldn't get enough food for myself and the little one. I couldn't get used to that… The little one…

"Where should we be next?" Rose asked. It hurt me to lie to her. "We should be in Indiana," I said. She nodded. She looked almost happy. It hurt. I knew she planned to show off her talent to everyone and I felt bad… I wouldn't be there to see it prosper. What if she stopped? Because I left? I shut that part out. She was the same way the whole trip. Thriving on the encouragement some nice people gave her. We had even made a few US dollars with her talent. I'll stay a while longer I guess. I didn't want her to get suspicious though once I started getting sick longer than was usual.

"For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings, that then I scorn to change my state with kings," she quoted. Shakespeare. She was a fan of Shakespeare and she recited the words with such emotion that her acting, in my opinion, would never be challenged by the people and if it was, they weren't worth it. Sure criticism was a big part of success, but she didn't need it. She was amazing! She had a dream and I knew she would go far. She would.

I had no special talents—that I knew of at least. I could play piano a little, but I never owned one so I never actually practiced a lot. I knew how to draw and paint and whatnot, but not as well as Jack had. His work was exquisite. Everyone had a talent except me. Was my talent to be a mother? An author? A story teller? I wasn't sure.

I kept my eyes on Rose the whole time, watching as people praised her talent. She was unique. She wasn't like the average soon-to-be Actresses. I suggested she work on plays around the states we visited. She was open to the idea. She rehearsed and auditioned many times. She never cried or gave up with the number of times the part was given to others.

I had told Rose about the baby. She was excited. She made as much money as she could with her talent and she wanted nothing more than to help. I was surprised by this. She was a happy girl. What had she promised to Jack? I was still miserable on the inside without Tommy, but when I watched Rose perform on the streets or wherever she could, I was lost in it.

The baby had been born. He looked so much like Tommy. Rose had helped me pick out his name. "It had to be Irish," she said, cooing as the baby held her finger in his little hand. Rose and I had decided on the name, Ethan.

It wasn't until 1929 when the Stock Market crash hit. We were in Colorado at the time. Money was low and shops closed. One Performing Arts Stage was looking for an Actress because the previous one had quit due to her husband's suicide (**wink, wink**). Rose jumped on the offer right away, and at last she was given a part.

She had received the lead role, and I watched her rehearse and perform for crowds. She sang and dance and she lit up the stage! She was full of energy and the director had praised her for it. She couldn't help put just play the role she felt was right and everyone honored her for it.

After her performances at the Performing Arts Stage, she had received role offers left and right and in time, we were able to get to Santa Monica quicker. We had a whole life ahead. The Stock Market Crash had its effect though. We never wanted to sell the diamond Cal had accidently left in the coat pocket. We never wanted to. It was our last reminder other than our memories.

Ethan was quickly growing up. Rose had gone off to be an Actress in bigger roles and she had left us money. But it was quickly running dry, our funds.

"Momma! Mommy!" Ethan called from the next room. He came running in at full speed. He had been excited about something. "Momma, look!" he said. It was a letter. It was a scarlet letter. I opened it and I noticed the delicate penmanship that belonged to Rose.

_Dear Eliza and Ethan,_

_I'm having a wonderful time here in Hollywood! I plan to come and visit on my week off. Maybe we can go ride horses in the surf or go the Amusement parks! It would be a lot of fun!_

_Love,_

_Rose_

I smiled as I read she planned to visit. It had been a year since I had last seen her. Sure I'd seen her in newspapers and such, but it wasn't the same. Ethan and I couldn't wait.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I thought I would be generous and post a new chapter today since I hadn't been writing for this one in a while! :D Now onto the story!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Titanic**

We waited by the Stage Coach. We hadn't yet seen Rose and Ethan was becoming impatient. "Where's Aunty Rose?" he asked, tugging at my skirt. "She'll be here soon. She probably has to get all her stuff together," I said, kneeling so I was at Ethan's height. He began singing a little song Rose used to sing to him when I couldn't get him to sleep. I never learned the words to it so I didn't know the song. That was one of the songs Rose had always used to practice with.

"Eliza! Eliza!" Rose called. She came rushing up to me and Ethan, smiling. I thought her grin would split her face if it got any bigger. "I missed you and Ethan so much!" she said, picking up Ethan. She was wearing one of the coats that the actresses always wore at Dancing Schools. I assumed they were supposed to wear them on and off stage… Or maybe she just liked wearing it. It was a light blue, like the color of her eyes. Her hair had been dyed blond. She looked entirely different since last Ethan and I had seen her. She had always been writing to us about how much she had been learning whether it was tap dancing to piano, or flute to jazz dancing.

"We missed you too, Rose!" I said. Ethan was too happy to say anything, so he just bounced around in her arms. "How have you two been?" Rose asked, trying to keep Ethan from falling out of her arms. "We've been doing. Money's running a bit dry, but we've been managing," I said. I realized too late that I hadn't meant to tell her about the money…

"Why didn't you write about it to me? I could've helped!" Rose said. "Now I feel bad," she said. "Please don't, Rose. If wasn't making enough money with washing, drying, and ironing clothes all day, I would've written to you about it," I said. I still hadn't found my talent, so I was stuck doing the chores of a maid. It gave me something to do though when Ethan was napping or playing around the house.

"I met someone in Hollywood," she said. We were almost at the house by this point. "Really? Who?" I asked.

(**A/N: Anyone know what Old Rose's husband's name is? Something Calvert… I'm gonna make up a name for now, but if someone knows, I'll change it later!**)

"His name is Charles Calvert," she said. She really liked this man. I knew she still thought about Jack, but the wounds weren't fresh anymore. I hadn't recovered from the loss nearly as well as she had, but then again I had Ethan, and he was the closest thing to Tommy that I had left. "You seem to really fancy him," I said. I expected her to be in denial, but she wasn't. She also didn't jump on it either as quickly as possible. She wouldn't do that to Jack.

Ethan was asleep on my lap as I absently mindedly played with is blond curly hair as I listened to Rose explain her new found love. "He took me out to dinner the other night after rehearsals," she said. I could see she was happy. I was happy too for everything. I wished Tommy were here though so he could see Ethan… I hadn't worried in a long time about when Ethan would begin to ask about his father. The week was going to be good. Rose was here, Ethan's birthday was only three days away, and I wouldn't have to do any chores for a little while!

I listened as Rose continued to talk about Charles. He sounded almost like Jack. Wild and free-spirited. A person who didn't think and went with the wind. "He's sounds lovely," I said once she finished. "He is," she said. I could hear the hint of dreaminess in her voice. I smiled to myself.

Everyone was happy which meant I should be too… But I wasn't. I wanted Tommy more than anything just listening to Rose. I wanted Tommy to be here, but I knew as well as anyone that he wasn't coming back. It had been years ago, too, and it was horrible to think I was breaking _my _promise to Tommy. I shook my head to clear the thought from my mind.

When we arrived at the house, Rose already put her stuff in her old room and was back quickly. I guess she _really _missed us! "Momma? What's for lunch?" Tommy asked. I was starving too, but I had no idea what to make. Perhaps sandwiches. Rose suggested it too.

After lunch, I had put Ethan down for his nap. He had fallen asleep rather quickly. At least I wouldn't have to sing some song I didn't know! Rose was here though, but she was busy unpacking. I went into her room, asking if she needed help. "No, but thank you, Eliza. I just had to finish setting up my pictures!" she said, admiring one in particular. It was a photo taken her first year in Hollywood. She was posed just like other actresses had been, but she was gorgeous. She looked more of a model than an actress. "I still can't believe how far I've gone with my talent," she said mostly to herself. "It's amazing," I said. She smiled. "Well, what do you say, after Ethan wakes up, we go down to the surf. I'd always wanted to learn how to ride," she said. "I thought you learned side-saddle," I said. She smiled. "I did, but Jack had told me that was the wrong way to ride a horse. You had to ride a horse like a man. No side-saddle," she said, laughing.

I laughed at that. It was definitely like Jack. Everything had to be done "like a man!" That being thought, made me remember all the times I had shared with the boys.

"_No wonder I couldn't find it! Hand it over," I said, extending my arm. "Eh—about that… We don't know where it is now," Fabrizio answered. I sighed. It was quite meaningless anyway—all my best drawings and designs were saved in my rucksack. _

"_It's fine," I said, shocking the lot of them. "It's fine?" Tommy asked, incredulously. "Oh, yes. See, all my better drawings are saved away, hidden from you prying boys!" I teased. "We're men!" Jack said, puffing out his chest. "Prove it," I said. They all looked dumbfounded. _

_They stood up, and right then I knew how they were planning to prove they were men. "Don't you dare! Sit back down!" I cried looking away, laughing. They all chuckled but sat back down. "Have we proven we are men?" Jack asked. "As long as you don't try to go commando in public again, I'll say you did," I chuckled._

I remember that day. It was still the funniest thing that had ever happened to me. That was I believe the day after I had met the three. Fabrizio and Helga were together, but Tommy and I, and Jack and Rose weren't. Not yet. I knew they would wait for us.

I just wish that Ethan could've had the chance to meet Tommy. I, like Rose, wished I had some picture or something of theirs to hold onto and to cherish. I only had Ethan, which means more than anything to me. More than anything I could've gotten. Rose only had the necklace Cal gave her, that Jack had drawn her wearing. I wondered if Rose ever thought of Cal. We both knew he survived Titanic. But since the crash, we haven't had to worry about him ever finding Rose.

I had the necklace sitting on the shelf above the fireplace. I had it placed there because the sun would hit it all day, and it would make beautiful blue shimmers on the wall.

I walked around the house tidying up anything that needed my attention. Rose was in the living room admiring the necklace. Once I had finished tidying up, which was about an hour of my time put to good use, I went to go get Ethan so we could go to the surf.

I placed my hand on Ethan's shoulder, and gently rubbed it. He awoke, yawning. "Momma?" he said. "Yes, baby?" I asked. "I had a dream," he said, groggily. "What was your dream about?" I asked. He sat up rubbing his eyes. "I had a dream about you and daddy," he said. I thought my heart stopped. He'd never met his father! I never _talked _about his father around him! Could he have heard me talking to Rose before? "You did?" I asked, feigning calm. Ethan nodded.

I felt tears threatening to fall, but I held them back. "Aunty Rose wants to take us to the surf. Maybe the amusement park," I said. His face lit up. He had Tommy's lopsided smile. "She is!" he asked happily clapping his hands. "Yes, she is. Now I'm going to go get her and she'll help you get ready," I said. My voice was starting to crack.

"R-Rose?" I called. She didn't answer. "Rose!" I called. My voice was cracking even more now. Rose in the room from the kitchen. "Eliza? What happened?" she asked. Her voice was laced with fear and concern. "I just, um, need you to go get Ethan ready… I have s-something to do," I lied. I knew she saw right through it, but she went to Ethan's room without question. I leaned against the wall, hoping it would keep me from falling over.

How did Ethan know about Tommy? I'd never even mentioned him around Ethan! I barely spoke of him to _anyone_!

**A/N: Okay! I'll be gone today and tomorrow morning, so I'll keep writing but I won't be able to post until tomorrow evening! So sorry, but I hope you enjoyed the chapter!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Okay, I don't have much to say today, except I hope you enjoy the story! Sorry for the delay too I was away with some family!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Titanic… James Cameron does!**

We walked to the Pier because we were just that close. Ethan was excited by all of it. He wanted to go on everything, unfortunately even with an adult, some rides had an age or height requirement. Nine out of ten times, Ethan was still too small. He had fun anyway. He waited with one of the workers as Rose and I rode the roller coasters until we threw up. We couldn't help but laugh because we were having fun… Even if it involved heaving into trash cans.

Ethan's words were still fresh in my mind though. I pushed them aside though when Rose asked me a question. "What was that?" I asked. She laughed. "I knew you weren't paying attention," she teased. "Sorry," I said. "I said let's go look for a place that sells cheap beer," she laughed. "Cheap beer?" I asked. "Yeah. That's what Jack would've done," she said. I admired her for being able to say Jack's name and not burst into tears.

"Oh," I said, feeling stupid. I knew it was like Jack to suggest "Cheap Beer." "Sure, let's go," I said. I asked Rose to get them for us, considering bringing Ethan into a small shack that sold beer wouldn't be very appropriate. I walked a little further down the pier so that I could find something for Ethan. I eventually did, and Roe had caught up to us then. "I say, once we're done, we head down to the surf. You could learn to ride horses 'like a man'!" I said in a poor western accent. "I would love that!" she smiled. "Momma I want to ride the horsies!" Ethan cheered. I laughed. He was too adorable.

"You can ride the ponies," I said. He pouted. "No! The ponies are little! I want to ride the big horsies like Aunty Rose!" he cried. "I'll let you sit on one with me, but you're not going on one alone," I said. He seemed satisfied, but not happy. "Fine," he said.

"He's six years old and he acts like he's seventeen," I laughed. Rose laughed along with me. Ethan didn't understand what I'd meant so he just continued to finish his chocolate ice cream. Once he was done, I asked the clerk behind the counter for some napkins. How Ethan got ice cream in his hair, I didn't know. Once he was cleaned up, Rose and I held his hands until we reached the surf.

Rose and Ethan happened to share a horse because I hadn't realized how terrified I was of horses until I saw the height different. The horse dominated me in that category. I had asked one of the people who had a camera to take a photo of the two for me. He had taken three. One of Rose and Ethan, one of just Ethan, who was very sturdy on the horse surprisingly, and one of just Rose. Her blonde hair blew in the light wind, as did her white elbow length sleeved shirt and the bottoms of her jeans. She almost looked like she was posing for some movie poster or something rather than just riding a horse for fun.

"Did you have fun, Ethan?" I asked, brushing his blonde curly hair out of his sleepy eyes. "Yeah," he yawned. "Someone's tired," Rose said, picking him up. "I'm not tired!" Ethan said, trying to hide the yawn he accidently let slip. "Just watch, Ethan. I think Aunty Rose will fall asleep, too!" I teased. Rose smiled, suppressing a yawn herself.

"Don't hide it, Rose," I said. "And I always wondered where he got it from!" I said. Rose laughed, but it was cut short by her yawn she had tried so hard to hold back.

We walked the whole path back. Rose held Ethan as he slept, resting his head on her shoulder. "Do you suppose he heard us whenever we talked about Tommy?" I whispered. I hoped Ethan was asleep. "Is that what got you all upset today?" Rose asked, adjusting the sleeping little boy on her shoulder. "Yeah… It was a shock. I don't ever remember saying Tommy's name or even telling Ethan he was his father… I mean maybe when he was a baby and he couldn't understand me—or I _thought _he couldn't understand me," I said. I took Ethan from Rose's shoulder and held him the rest of the way.

When we got to the parking lot, our Stage Coach was there. We planned to walk the way home, but someone was gesturing for us to come over. It was a man… But we didn't know who.

Why would someone be offering us a ride… If we didn't know them, and they didn't know us?

**A/N: Okay… still kind of short… Curfew again… But tomorrow's will MOST DEFINITELY be longer!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Alright, I've kept you all waiting long enough… and Lauren's been bugging me (no just kidding!) to post soon so here you go guys! Read my children! :D This one won't be extremely long or anything but will be longer than last nights…**

**Disclaimer: Titanic… yeah… I **_**don't **_**own it…**

Rose and I shared a glance. We were curious about the man who had picked up our Stage Coach. We only lived right around a few blocks. Enough for walking… Who was the man anyway?

"I don't think we should go over there, Eliza," Rose said. "Me either… Stay here with Ethan… I'm going to go see what he wants," I said. "Are you insane? What if he's some lunatic?" Rose hissed. "Calm down, Rose. He looks sane… Maybe he thought he'd be courteous," I said. Rose sighed impatiently but let me go. I was a bit nervous. I didn't know him so how could he know me?

"Sir?" I asked. The man turned around… Wait… I knew him—Holy crow! It was _Tommy_! I felt my stomach tie itself into a million knots… That wasn't about to come undone anytime soon… I sighed, feeling the tears rush back to me… That was impossible! People couldn't come back from the dead! That just wasn't logical! I tried to run, and believe me I wanted to…. This was too weird. Of course I loved Tommy, but this… This just wasn't _real_!

He walked toward me… Oh no… This wasn't Tommy! I watched him die and it wasn't what I would call an act either! This wasn't him no matter how much I wanted to believe it! "Eliza," he said.

"Eliza!" Rose said. I opened my eyes. Oh thank god it was a dream. My eyes were wet though. My crying wasn't a dream. It felt so real though… "I guess the rides and such wore you out… Did you dream about T—him?" Rose asked, setting a wet wash cloth on my head. "What happened?" I asked. "What do you mean? We got back from the Pier and you came straight here to sleep…" she said.

Funny… I couldn't remember it. I shook my head as if it would rid me of my delirious state. It didn't… It only made me dizzy. "Do you dream of Jack, Rose?" I asked. "All the time," she said. "I can't dream of _him _and not be upset… It's just because I got one day with Tommy to actually be _with _him… You had five days with Jack, which of course isn't any better by far, but still… You can cope better than I can," I said.

"Time heals all wounds, Eliza," she said. I removed the wash cloth from my head and sat up. "I guess you're right… I can't remember it though, going to sleep… or the Pier or anything after I left Ethan's room…" I said.

"I guess you had too much on your mind. It's not healthy, you know," Rose said. "Yes, mother… I know," I teased. "You sleep… I'll check on you again later," Rose said.

She left the room shutting the door and I laid back down. It was quiet and I still couldn't sleep. Maybe I just didn't feel well. Did I act weird at all? I couldn't remember… I sat up again, throwing the eiderdown quilt off of me. It was too hot in this room… I opened the windows and listened to the crickets that chirped… It was funny how something so repetitious was so calming… But I still couldn't sleep.

I walked out into the kitchen. My head was pounding. We didn't have money to buy aspirin at the time before Rose arrived, and I didn't bother mentioning it to her… I didn't want her to throw her money around for us. We would manage. We always did when she went away.

Thinking about it, Rose was only here for another few days. Possibly two or three.

I walked around the house seeing as I had nothing better to do. What could one do when she had a splitting headache, was suffering from nightmares—or what felt so real only to end so badly. It was maddening.

I went back to bed and tried to think about happy thoughts… Maybe I would dream of our last—and only—night together. I did.

_As I ran down the halls, the ship shook. There was a dim screeching sound that slowly faded, but the ship continued to sink. "Oh no," I said aloud to myself. Dammit! I saw the Captain get handed the iceberg warning just the other day! Why the hell had they been ordering more speed? _

_Once I found room 27, I knocked on the door frantically. I was thankful Tommy answered. "Eliza? What are you doing here so late?" he asked. "The ship… It hit an iceberg! I heard the crew talking about shutting the gates atop the stairs!" I panted. He didn't look so much alarmed as I did. How the hell could he not be even a little bit worried! I shook aside the thought. "We have to go, Tommy," I said. He came closer to me. By this point, I realized we were alone…_

_Very alone._

_He leaned down and kissed me. "I guess that means we should hurry, huh?" he chuckled. I gulped. I didn't actually feel scared… I just felt… Different. Like I wanted this, even though the ship was sinking. "We should be going to the—erm—to the stairs," I whispered. It was a wild feeling sinking into the pit of my stomach. I wasn't scared._

I awoke in the middle of the night to Rose walking in. She was so nice when it came to nurture and healing and she would make a more than fine mother… I just hoped I could do all I can for Ethan and myself….

Would it be enough? I didn't want to fail as a mother… That was every mothers' worry. Maybe I was being too uneasy on myself… I would pull through…

**A/N: So how did you like the chapter? Don't have to review but is appreciated!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: As promised!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Titanic**

I awoke the next morning rather late. The house wasn't quiet. Rose was chasing Ethan around because he refused to take a bath. I got up slowly so I didn't make myself any more dizzier than I was. Once I got rid of my dizziness, I got up and shut my door. It wasn't to drown out the laughing from the next room, it was so I could get dressed.

I dressed in my usual clothes. They weren't anything fancy or overboard, they were simple and comfortable. I walked into the kitchen ready to start breakfast when I was trampled by a little bundle of energy. "Oh, Ethan!" I said laughing. I dusted myself off and picked up the little boy. "Aunty Rose tried to get me to take a bath!" Ethan laughed. "Well, I have you in my arms, Ethan… I can hand you off to Aunty Rose…" I said. Ethan's eyes grew wide.

"Alright. Come on, Ethan!" Rose said, taking him from my arms. "No! No! I don't want a bath!" Ethan yelled struggling to break free. I closed my eyes trying to relieve the pounding in my head. I heard the bathroom door close, but it didn't muffle the little protests from Ethan one bit. I laughed quickly making breakfast so once they had come down we'd all have something ready.

At breakfast, Rose explained how she had another day left with us before she had to leave. It made me glad. I wouldn't be alone—of course I had Ethan—but who could I talk to about Tommy? Not Ethan. How he found out was beyond me. I wanted so badly to ask, but I didn't have the guts to.

But Ethan was beginning to ask questions more often about his father. I stopped being shocked after a while. The one question that hurt, which came up by me accidently asking Rose if she remembered the time we met. She had accidently said Tommy's name, that was when Ethan asked, "Does daddy love me?" I felt my heart stop. The color left my face, and Rose's too.

"Daddy would've loved you," I said. _If he were here. _I added mentally. "Wouldn't Daddy be here if he loved me?" Ethan asked. I felt the tears prick my eyes. I should've expected this to come along soon. "Something happened, sweetheart. That's why daddy isn't here," I said. Rose grabbed my hand trying to keep me from crying in front of Ethan.

"I wish Daddy was here," Ethan said, pushing his food around his bowl. _"_We all do, Ethan," Rose said. I stared at my bowl, not at all hungry anymore. I pushed my chair out of the way and went straight to my room.

Rose had put Ethan to bed early. I think she felt horrible too. The house was quiet all night long and I fell in and out of sleep. I thought of all times Tommy and I had spent together. I couldn't believe that once I found the right guy… He was ripped away from me. It was painful to think about. I wanted to stop all the memories, but it wasn't going to happen and I knew it.

_When I returned, the three bo—Men—were acting as if nothing happened, but I could see it in their eyes they did something. "Confession time, boys," I said. "Oh nothing," said Jack. I arched an eyebrow as if to say, "Cut the crap and get to it!" "Okay, okay… We—er—kinda—, "Kinda?" I prompted. "—stole your sketchpad yesterday," they said. "No wonder I couldn't find it! Hand it over," I said, extending my arm. "Eh—about that… We don't know where it is now," Fabrizio answered. I sighed. It was quite meaningless anyway—all my best drawings and designs were saved in my rucksack. _

"_It's fine," I said, shocking the lot of them. "It's fine?" Tommy asked, incredulously. "Oh, yes. See, all my better drawings are saved away, hidden from you prying boys!" I teased. "We're men!" Jack said, puffing out his chest. "Prove it," I said. They all looked dumbfounded. _

_They stood up, and right then I knew how they were planning to prove they were men. "Don't you dare! Sit back down!" I cried looking away, laughing. They all chuckled but sat back down. "Have we proven we are men?" Jack asked. "As long as you don't try to go commando in public again, I'll say you did," I chuckled._

I awoke again, except I assumed it was 3 AM. Dammit! Can't I get one night of—oh, I don't know—_PEACEFUL _sleep? I closed my eyes and fell asleep again. Thank God.

_I kept walking. I decided to go find Jack. I hoped he was awake. I found him and his friend, and another man. The two, who I was unfamiliar with, were sitting on the stairs, and Jack sat on the floor. "Jack?" I asked. He looked up from his drawing and smiled. "Hi, Eliza." "Do you mind if I join the pair of you?" I asked. "Course not," he said. "I'm Eliza," I said to his friend. "Fabrizio," said the man. He was Italian… It was quite obvious. "Tommy," said the Irish man. "Have you heard of the girl who supposedly snuck aboard?" Tommy asked Jack. I cleared my throat and soon three pairs of eyes were on me. "Er—I'm that stowaway," I said. Tommy, Jack, and Fabrizio looked at me, amused. "So you're the one who snuck past all those crewman," Jack teased. "Yep," I said._

"_So… How'd you do it?" Tommy asked, taking a puff from his cigarette. "Well it wasn't hard," I said._

That was when I first met Jack's friends. Shit! I woke up again! The sky was a bit lighter. 5 AM? I didn't know, but I fell asleep hoping maybe I would sleep longer than I had all night.

_I planned to have a good evening now that Tommy had gotten me out of that snake pit! "So, again, thank you," I said. I wasn't entirely sure of what to say at the moment. "No problem at all," he responded. I was curious as to where we were going. "Where are Jack and Fabrizio?" I asked. "There off probably sneaking onto the First Class Sky Deck," Tommy chuckled, lighting a cigarette. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't," I said. Just as he was about to light the thin piece of papered tobacco. He chuckled mostly to himself, then threw the cigarette overboard. I brushed aside the to tell him off for polluting the water. It was too late now. "Thank you," I said, staring out to the horizon. "So exactly why did you run away again?" he asked. "My parents," I answered, playing with the fabric of my tattered jacket. It once belonged to my father when he was my age probably. It'd been through a lot I assume. Why he kept it, I hadn't the slightest idea._

"_They were always fighting about money! Sometimes it got bad enough where I ran away for the day! My mother even attempted suicide. But she couldn't bring herself to do it. She said she couldn't leave me, even if that meant she had to put up with my father's rants. The horizon was a good place to get lost in for a while. It was calm, beautiful, and sometimes , helpful. Unlike my life. "And now I guess I feel…guilty," I said. "My mother failed to kill herself because of me, and I ran away and she must feel like she did that for nothing. I wonder how she feels," I said. I thought now would be a good time to stop talking. I never talked this much about my feelings… Ever._

"_I don't want to listen to their bickers anymore. Once Titanic docks, I'm going off to Santa Monica. New name, new life. I want to start fresh," I said simply ending the conversation. "So feel like rounding up a couple of misfits?" he asked. I smiled and wrapped my arm around his. "Show the way, Sir Ryan," I teased. He chuckled and lead the way to the "E" Deck._

It was definitely later. I supposed it was 10 AM. I was glad I finally got _some _sleep. I wasn't sure why my head was always hurting when I woke up, or why I was plagued with flashbacks, or why I was always dizzy. I brushed aside the thought. I had some other things to worry about than what was wrong with me right now. Like who was outside, staring at the house…

**A/N: Okay… That's the chapter! Cliff hanger! I hope you guys liked the chapter! I thought I'd bring back some of the Tommy/Eliza moments from "Fighting Yesterday"! :D Review if you wish!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Okay! I'm back! I have to be honest with you guys… I seriously thought about quitting my stories Saturday because everyone thinks I'm so obsessed with Titanic that it's a problem FOR THEM! It made me so angry and whatnot and I thought about quitting then I thought about all my reviewers and that's why I'm still going strong! So thank you all! Anyway, I promised you updates and so here we go! Oh and, Big Fan: I hope you get an account soon! I'd love to see what you have for writing! :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Titanic!**

I quickly made my way outside. I wanted to know who the hell this guy was. "Hello? Can I help you sir?" I asked. "You're husband—," he began. He was Italian obviously. "—has not been recovered yet. If he has… He hasn't been identified," he said. I felt my stomach drop, but I already knew this. "I was aware. Thank you," I said. The man nodded. "Miss? If you ever need help or have any questions on our progress, here's my card," he said. His Italian accent made it a bit hard to hear what he was saying. I took the card. Why the hell—this wasn't a building number… It was more like a residence number. "Thank you," I said again. I got back inside the house quickly.

We barely knew each other and he gave me a residence number? I tossed the slip into the trash bin and sighed. My head was in too much pain to worry about all this. I just wanted Tommy… And Jack and Fabrizio. I was grateful for Rose and Ethan… but I still missed my men. Memories meant nothing to me if you couldn't share them with someone you truly loved.

I walked into the living room and found Ethan and Rose asleep on the sofa. It was beautiful and peaceful, the sight. I smiled. I wish that would be me and Tommy. Always together. Inseparable. But I didn't see it happening anytime soon.

I _was_ very grateful for them.

I looked at the necklace on the shelf above the fireplace. The sun had just begun to hit it and the blue shimmers scattered the walls like water's reflection. It was gorgeous. This is why we had kept it here. Another reason was because Rose didn't think it a good idea to wear it while in public sight.

I had so much going through my throbbing head. Who was that man? Was he really who he portrayed himself to be? Was Tommy happy? Was he not? How did Ethan ever find out about him? What the hell did my headaches mean? It was all so confusing and somehow I knew deep down… _All _the answers.

I just couldn't actually decode them.

I walked into my room, and sat down on my bed looking around. It almost felt like thousands of years since I'd seen my parents… Were they doing better? Somehow I felt hope.. but that hope quickly dissipated and I was left with: "I highly doubt it." Were they even _alive_? I knew… and remembered the day my mother was ready to throw herself off that rock. It stabbed me like a million knives in the only place pain was actually felt. The heart.

I closed my eyes… I didn't want to slip into the vision.. but it swallowed me.

_I decided I wanted no part of this and ran out of the house to the woods behind the house. It wasn't enough. I could still hear them. "I get it, William! Okay? I get it that you work hard but it isn't enough and when you want to talk about our lack of money, when I'm doing all I can to make this work, too, I get frustrated, okay? Okay, William? I don't want to talk! I don't want to fight! Don't you get it?" my mother yelled. She was sobbing, it was obvious in her voice._

_My father looked so angry, "Well I want to talk, Anna! And I want you to listen!" he said dangerously low. "Maybe I don't want to listen!" "Well, maybe you should!" "What are you going to do? Force me to listen? Are you going to hit me to get what you want? It's not like you've never wanted to," she yelled. For that one moment, I actually thought he was going to hit her. But he yelled into the sky then stormed into the house. "You're an idiot, Anna! You're a friggin' idiot!" he shouted, and slammed the front door. My mother stood there in the street, crying. Her breathing was deep, and she ran toward the woods behind the house. _

_I followed her silently. She was sobbing aloud, and she ran to where the forest met the water at the bottom of the cliffs and I stood frozen. She looked down, and for a moment she was going to jump, but I was unaware of what stopped her. She looked at the water and rocks below, then up at the sky and said, "Keep my daughter safe when I go, God. I'm not ready to leave her yet. She's the only reason I don't end this fight this way," she said, sobbing._

_Then I knew the reason why she didn't jump. I was that reason._

I wanted to see my parents… But I left them. How could I return? What if they weren't there? What the hell would I say?

I sighed, but walked around my room. Once again my head was throbbing worse… I squeezed my eyes shut tight to relieve the pain. It was only a slight help.

I went back to the living room and Rose and Ethan were still asleep. Rose would be leaving tomorrow… I didn't want to see her leave… It was her longest stay in a year! I wanted to have a good day with her and Ethan. I nudged her with my knee. She woke up.

"Rose? It's your last day… I was curious to know if you wanted to go to the Pier?" I asked. She smiled brightly and nodded. Her smile was sloppy with sleep.

I woke up Ethan and got him ready and soon we were off to the Pier.

Once there… Ethan was excited to go on everything! Rose and I just watched him run around. My head didn't bother me… And when it did… I had too much fun to notice it.

I began feeling dizzy though. Very dizzy. It felt like everything was spinning. I felt the bile rise in my throat. I was getting sick and I couldn't stop the feeling. Then it was all black.

**A/N: So? What'd you think? I'll tell you this: NO SHE DID NOT DIE! So please keep your hearts in your chests! Lol I don't want to be responsible for heart attacks worldwide! :D**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Yes! I'm getting back up there! Sorry you all had to wait for this one! I powered through my darn writer's block… Well as Lauren and I call it, "DWB!" :) Okay, I've told Lauren this: There's a Jack in my French Class… Well tomorrow, we're getting a new student… His name is: Get this: Ethan! I wanted to fall out of my chair laughing! It's atypical! Right?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Titanic**

(Rose's POV)

I held Ethan, the poor crying boy. He wouldn't stop crying or squirming. I held him in a tight, comforting hug, holding back my own tears. _Please be alright, Eliza! You've come this far!_ I thought over and over.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

That was all I could right now. I just had to hope for the best. I closed my eyes and rocked the little sobbing boy in my arms. He wasn't going to sleep anytime soon. The hospital room was quiet, despite the little boy's crying. It was an odd silence. Eerie.

What scared me most was Ethan had no idea what was going on… And I didn't either… I wanted answers! Would Eliza be alright? She had to be! Ethan's crying became low whimpers, until he'd finally fallen silent. I was the only one with eyes wide open now.

When would the damn doctor get here? I wanted to know what the hell was going on! She never showed signs of being ill… So what happened?

I was getting a headache thinking of all this. But if I didn't think about this… I'd think of much worse. I closed my eyes… I wouldn't fall asleep… I'd just wait for the doctor. I had nothing to fear… I couldn't sleep anyway.

(Eliza's POV)

_There was a very annoying buzzing in my ears, but I couldn't bring up the strength to open my eyes. There was a faint… sobbing? I had a headache already… I felt like I was falling, and I couldn't stop. I was practically weightless. Was I dead? Oh god, please no!_

_I found little strength to open my eyes. Where the hell was I? The floors were a new, clean, shiny wood. The walls were, by the looks of it, off-white or even ecru. Sunlight poured through all the windows. I got off the floor. This wasn't the Pier. That's where I last was… Right?_

_I walked down the hallway, carefully, as though the floor would crumble beneath me. My shoes clicked against the smooth surface below me. I looked around. It was gorgeous and in a way… Familiar. But I just couldn't remember. My headache was gone… I felt absolutely nothing. Was this was death was like? Was I even dead?_

_I turned a corner and there was a Crewman. He held the door open for me. I smiled at him, although I was incredibly confused. When I walked in, everyone was smiling at me. I looked around realizing… I wasn't alive. I couldn't have been! I had to have gone to heaven with all others! I saw Cora and Mr. Cartmell. I saw Mr. Andrews atop the second step of the Grand Staircase. Jack stood at the clock. He waved to me. I felt like crying. It had been so long since I'd seen him. I saw Fabrizio sitting on the bottom step. Cal was above with the others. I continued to walk past the people. _

_Someone tapped my shoulder. I turned around. It was Tommy. I thought I was going to lose it. "Hey," he said quietly. I looked him in the eyes. It was him. I threw my arms around his neck and sobbed joyfully. I had waited so long for this moment and finally it was here. "Oh god! Tommy, I've missed you," I whispered. "I know. I've missed you too, Eliza," he whispered back. I sobbed into his chest. I was beyond happy. I had waited so long to see Tommy, and finally I got that chance. _

"Eliza? Eliza? Eliza!"

I cracked my eyes open with all the energy I had left. I tried to speak… But I made no sound. "How do you feel, Miss Ryan?" asked the doctor. Rose sat on the edge of my bed. Ethan was asleep on the bed next to mine. I couldn't find the force the speak. I swallowed roughly then forced, "I don't know."

Rose smiled slightly, happy to hear my voice again.

"Well, testing you, we found you have terminal cancer," he said. Rose's smile faultered and she froze shocked. "Certain?" she asked. When the doctor nodded, she continued, "You have to be wrong! What kind of terminal cancer?" she asked. "There are many forms of terminal cancer, though currently we're unsure of what type, Miss Dawson," he said, pity obviously etched onto his face. I couldn't bring myself to look shocked. I couldn't even move my bloody arm to save my life… Not that it would.

"I'll leave you two, to talk about it," he said, leaving the room. Rose clamped her hand over her mouth. She was going to cry and I didn't blame her… But I wasn't going to be depressed about this. If you have to ask… I've lived my life. I just hoped Rose could accept that, and one day when Ethan understood it, that he would too.

I didn't feel like crying. I didn't see the need. Would crying make my illness have mercy on me? No. There was no mercy in life. It was you lived it to the fullest and died, or you didn't live it at all the way you wanted and died. Either way, there was no forever after.

"How can you not be scared, Eliza! What about Ethan! I don't want to one day tell him about his mother he never knew, or even his father! That's not something _any_ child should suffer!" Rose sobbed. "Rose… I know this… And I plan to talk to him my next few, however many days left, about everything he'll want to know!" I choked out.

"I'm not leaving him, before he knows everything," I said.

**A/N: Not as long as Missing Link, but I'm not making up for a 400 word chapter on this story, right! :D sop anyway! What'd you think?**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Sorry I practically ditched this story! Ugh! Anyway, I'm back and have been writing all week!**

_Terminal. Terminal._

Why was I even thinking about this? Everyone had to die sometime, not that we all believed it. Rose and Ethan were asleep in the chair next to my bed. Ethan looked peaceful whereas Rose had cried herself to sleep. Her eyes were red and puffy.

I threw the blanket over the edge of the bed, adjusted my hospital gown and got out of the bed. I didn't want to stay in bed. I was going to find a doctor and ask to get the hell out of here. If I was going to die, it wasn't going to be in a hospital. No freaking way.

As I made my way to the door, I heard Rose gasp slightly. "Where are you going?" she asked. I turned to face her. "I'm going to get a doctor," I said as if it was the most normal thing ever. "God, Eliza! You're supposed to be resting! Let me do it!," she said. She adjust Ethan so that he was lying down on the chair. She was at my side instantly, bringing me back to the bed. I'd figured she'd been through enough. I didn't argue with her.

"Fine. Will you get the doctor? I have to ask him something," I said. Rose nodded and left the room. I watched as Ethan slept soundly. I couldn't believe I was going to miss this. Ethan was going to grow up not knowing either of his parents. I didn't want that for him.

Rose returned with the doctor, and I quickly said, "I want to go home!" "We're sorry, but you can't leave. We found a brain tumor. Unfortunately we don't have enough money or equipment to perform such a dangerous, but helpful procedure," the Doctor apologized.

"I want to die in my own home, not a hospital!" I snapped. "I understand your frustration, Miss Ryan, but policy is policy," he said. "Screw the policy and send me home!" I said. "Miss Ryan, I can't," he said, looking uncomfortable. I got out of the bed, and walked up to the Doctor. "Don't you understand? This is harder on them than it is on me! I don't want them to watch me wither away in a freaking hospital bed because I have no choice!

"If anyone should suffer, it should be me, _in my own home_!" I argued. The doctor was slightly outraged, but finally caved. "Fine. I'll sign you out in a little while," he said, leaving the room.

"Eliza, it'd be much safer to stay here! I have no experience!" Rose said, her voice hoarse. "Rose, I don't either, but I'm not dying in a hospital, that's too creepy!" I said. "And dying at home isn't?" she asked. I pondered on the thought. "At least I know what home is…" I said. Rose looked at me with sympathy, but complied.

I sat back down on the bed, and Rose handed me Ethan. I looked at the "Little Tommy" and smiled. I was going to miss him… I just hope he'd miss me too.

**A/N: So sorry that was short! Curfew AND writer's block! I'll work more on it later! :D**


End file.
